Wednesday, November 9, 2016

He doesn't love me the way I want him to

Today is my husband's birthday, so I would be remiss if I didn't express my gratitude for him today. I have been struggling with how much I miss my mom lately, and how alone I have felt since her passing . . .  combine this struggle with crazy unpredictable pregnancy hormones and I feel like I have been a little hard on him, as a result. Sometimes I get frustrated because I don't think he appreciates me, or loves me the way I think I deserve to be loved, and I allow these misconceptions to fester inside and create a bitterness that perpetuates contention and a lack of charity.

Now, we all know that's a bunch of malarky . . . that my husband does, in fact love me and appreciates me, and I was recently reminded (again) of such as I came across one of my favorite quotes:
"I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have." -Unknown
I've been praying a lot lately for revelation on how I can be a better wife - how I can better communicate my needs, while still being compassionate toward my husband and finding ways to foster acceptance and forgiveness in our relationship; to be more loving and supportive toward him, that I might gain a better understanding of how I can strengthen our relationship and perpetuate love instead of resentment . . . and as I came across this quote again, I was reminded to reflect on all the ways he does show his love for me. It's just amazing how in the course of a few short days, my attitude has changed to one of gratitude, and I actually find myself at a loss for words at how lucky I am to have him in my life.

So, here is a list of 10 reasons why I am grateful for my husband:

1. He recently revealed to me that he has a playlist that he listens to regularly, which he titled, "Love My Wife Better," and it is filled with songs that encourage appreciating what you have, and loving the ones in your life more fully. This may sound silly, but I thought it was one of the greatest romantic gestures he has ever shown me;

2. When I express my frustrations with him, he rarely ever lashes out at me, or gets angry. He just takes it all in, as if to process what the problem is and how to fix it. I often mistake this for failing to communicate with me, or shutting down emotionally, but I've come to realize that just because he isn't outwardly giving me the validation I seek in the moment, it doesn't mean he isn't internalizing the problem, trying to think of ways to improve, and make my life easier. I love him;

3. He is not too prideful to admit when he is wrong;

4. He honors me and our commitment to each other with his integrity, and by being loyal in thought and action;

5. He values my happiness;

6. He loves our children unconditionally, and though he often comes across as being the tough disciplinarian (especially with our teenager, and our son), he is usually the first one to show them an increase of love.

7. He is always telling our children to respect and obey me, and to act when they are told (by me) to do something. This may seem like a simple thing, yet to me it is huge. I have seen first-hand how some parents undermine each other in front of their children, but I feel like I have his support and respect 100% in this area.

8. He values physical intimacy. Let's get real for a minute . . . when you've been married almost ten years and you've got four kids (with one on the way), This. Is. Huge.

9. He makes me laugh; and

10. He is genuinely good, and he seeks after righteous things for me and for our family.

I truly am grateful to have this man in my life, and I am committed to focusing on his goodness as I thank my Heavenly Father for blessing me with such a devout eternal companion.

I love you, Babe. Happy Birthday.

Photo Credit: The Purple Lady

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