|Gems of Reflection: Week 24|
But ultimately, if I am being brutally honest with myself, what it really boils down to is the fact that I think my self-esteem took a nose dive after I received critiques on my writing at the LDStorymakers Writer's Conference in Provo last month. Haha. I have been feeling pretty lame and basically have had no motivation to write. I thought that I would take a week or two to regroup and allow myself to - well, get over myself - haha, but it's taken a little longer than I anticipated. I finally decided that I've wasted enough time wallowing in self pity and need to return to the land of productivity (I basically need to stop being a loser), so here I am...taking baby steps. I have obviously missed a couple of Gems posts, and I plan to catch up. Eventually. I promise. ;)
So, yeah - about the above picture - I don't recall any one memory wherein I gained these mass amounts of knowledge about learning how to drive. I know I probably should have learned what NOT to do when I rear-ended someone on the freeway for the first time when I was about 7 months pregnant with M (my now 12-year-old daughter), or perhaps when I did it again like a year later. Sheesh. I've actually ruined all too many a good hoods from repeating that same mistake - more times than I care to mention. ::looks for a place to hide:: Yeah, I've never claimed to be a great driver. My husband can attest to this. To this day, I make him drive everywhere. Hehe.
I do have some not-so-awful memories of learning to drive, though. I remember the first time my parents let me get behind the wheel. We drove home from the DMV after I received my driver's permit. I started to pull out of the parking lot and had to turn the radio off because I felt so small and overwhelmed by the power of the steering wheel in my hands. But at the same time, there was something so empowering about being in control of that vehicle. I am sure you could sit and talk about the metaphors in that whole situation until the cows come home, but I won't bore you with the antics of all that right now.
I also remember my brother trying to teach me how to drive stick shift. Haha. I am not sure if the transmission on his little Ford Ranger ever recovered. Hehe. He was a good brother for being brave enough to try and teach me though. He and I share a special bond now because we survived that potentially life-threatening experience. ;)